Dirty Business

I keep reading articles like "Quit Your Day Job" and "Bring In More Sales", blurbs about how to put myself "out there" and to socialize and network more. Up until this point I have been wholly uncomfortable with posting my stuff on my Facebook page or even telling many people about this blog. The idea of what appears to be gloating about myself or the artwork I'm doing feels foreign and icky. 

In 8th grade our homeroom needed a representative for the Student Body Council and me and another girl raised our hands as having interest in being that rep. Naturally a class vote ensued whereby I felt so uncomfortable in voting for myself because it felt wrong and elitist that I felt the morally right thing to do would be to vote for the other girl. I lost....by one vote. MY VOTE. I felt a smidgen of disappointment but I wouldn't have changed the way it played out because even knowing what the outcome would have been I still wouldn't have voted for myself.

So here I am, turning 28 next month ( a long way from being 14) reading these useful tips on how to turn my beloved hobby into a successful internet venture and I can't help but think one thing: I need to be an internet whore to do it. It's like prostitution without intercourse, I have to sell myself any way I can to make a buck. Weird? Yes. Cheesy? Yes, but it's exactly what it feels like! I would rather someone just stumble onto my Etsy page and say "Oh, I like that. Let me tell my friends..." rather than me announce it all over the place. I broke out of my shell to make this blog as sort of a creative journal of my artwork and I knew the moment would come that I would have to be like "Here's more stuff in my shop!" but no one really reads this blog so I didn't really feel that in danger of self-exposure. Now I do. Now that it has to be me showing my friends on Facebook what I'm doing and me trying to communicate what I'm doing to others in the community. 

I'm going to try these tips but I feel like I need to take a shower, like I've done something wrong and feel gross about it. It's like I'm forcing my art onto other people and that's not natural. Good artists, while smart to promote, shouldn't have to be like "HEY LOOK AT ME!" they are kind of just....found....

You know what I mean?